mixxedchixs

couldn\'t i have

Couldn’t i have had another chance

A break

From life

And with you

 

Couldn\'t i have

Given up already

My limp body

Sagging on the 

Hospital bed

Like yours

 

Couldn\'t i have

Been there

When i wasn\'t

 

Couldn\'t i have

Saved you

From dying

Even when it was out of my control?

 

Couldn\'t i have

Had that conversation

Said that apology

Gave that hug

bid goodbye?

 

Couldn\'t i have

Gotten to know you more

Even with my six year old self

Not knowing

You were dead?

 

Couldn\'t you have

Spent more time with me?

 

You loved me, didnt you?

Because I love you

And i couldn\'t have 

Had

Any more time with you

It was out of my control

 

But, 

If i ever do see you again, 

Dad,

Beloved father, 

Possibly in heaven, 

I hope to god not in hell

Maybe as a spirit on this earth

Or wherever dead people go,

 

I will tell you

I love you

And

Please, 

Please.

Don\'t leave me

again.