You fight
And you bicker
Throwing accusations still
It\'s been years
But somehow nothing
Has changed
Bits are still missing
It\'s still the other person\'s fault
The other is still not honest
Everything is still wrong
Does one deserve
More than the other
To be listened to
To be believed?
Does one deserve more
When it feels like both
Are only seeing through lenses
They created
It was always the same
The screaming
The fighting
The extreme anxiety
The never being safe
The wanting out
And then both wonder why now
When given the choice
I avoid both
You could never talk to each other
And I could never talk to either
But you have a lot in common
You both love me
And I love both of you
I don\'t know how else
To get this all off my chest
Both of you want me on your side
But there shouldn\'t be a side
And I shouldn\'t have to choose
And somehow just when color
Makes its way back in
Something happens
To make it all leak out again
Questions of if one
Has more rights than the other
When both of you are guilty
And both dismiss in the same way
You have a lot in common
You both feed me the same lines
And for some reason I still
Love both of you
There\'s so much to say
But when I try I can\'t get the words
Unless I\'m only writing them
Unless I\'m quoting them
There\'s so much pain
I don\'t know how to release
I don\'t know what to do with
The problem I\'m confronted with
Is that I want to rebuild
But I also want to cut off
Torn between befriending and
Removing the parasites
That have been eating away at me
All my life
You have a lot in common
Both of you seem at least vaguely aware
That something is wrong
But have no idea the depths in which it all goes
And I don\'t know how to explain
To either of you
How deep this cut is
That I find myself with
Trying to dig you out of
I find myself exhausted
You both believe yourselves guiltless
You both point at the other
Caught in so many sleepless nights
As a child and adult
It\'s still hard to find safety
Shadows on the edges of my vision
Everywhere I go
Staring at me blankly
My nightmares were reality
While I was growing up
I slept to escape them
I still do
My brain has buried
Any specific events by now
Trying to save myself from them
But I can\'t manage to bury the pain
It\'s used the soil to root itself in
You have a lot in common
I can\'t trust anything either of you say
You burned all of that long ago
In different ways
I\'m not stupid
I can see both of you
Telling subtle lies
You each seem to believe are true
To pick at the other
To try to rebuild yourselves
I would suggest you talk to each other
But when you\'re in the same room
It hurts
It only causes you to pick up
Where you left
You have a lot in common
You both hate each other in different ways
You both feel wronged by the other
Both stabbed in the back
And both holding knives
Trying to take my hand
You have a lot in common
You really do
Contradictions constantly
Finding new problems
I know we all need help
Some way to manage to get everything out
But every time I try to bring it up
I can\'t
Because you\'ll ask for specifics
I\'ve spent years burying
Because you won\'t listen anyways
Because you\'ll just blame the other
Because it\'s never mattered what I say
You don\'t believe it
You won\'t believe it
But the problem is
You have so much in common
You both love me
And I love both of you...