DeadRose

Dear Sparrow [confessions of the eldest]

Dear little bird.

dear little sparrow of mine,

here\'s a secret,

your older sister

Is not perfect.


Your older sister,

She cries too

Those big ugly sobs and tears one moment and the next moment

Staring at the wall thinking big thoughts

About how 

I\'ve wasted a  lot of my time. 

Be careful with those seconds. 

These minutes are finicky creatures 

and they just turn into monsters of hours

in just 60. 


Your older sister, she hasn\'t done much

You regard me as the best person in the whole wide world 

With those little chocolate brown eyes


Your older sister, 

People tell her she’s accomplished

But i haven\'t really accomplished much except i suppose that
Now i know that,

I can tell you that,

My history teacher has something against “our kind”.

But it\'s ok. 

You needn\'t worry about that. There will be always

These kinds of people and harsh 

Words out there don\'t let the

Words get to you and weigh your wings down. 



Your older sister, 

People tell her she’s so smart, intelligent, full of potential.

She’s not smart

She knows that she has to 

Get up in the morning

And just put in slightly more effort

Than the average person

And it\'s sad that people nowadays consider that smart

 

Your older sister,

She’s no star athlete,
half the time

She spends staring at 

Colored boxes 

Boxed inside

A shut up concealed 

Mess of a room

Mess boxed inside her head never to be opened ever again

Boxed heart boxed emotions

Never good because they spew

A mess 

All over the kitchen, spilled batter, ruined recipe

Pencil shavings of a messed up pencil drawing

Smudged graphite on the desk

Nothing is clean nothing in its 

proper 

Box 

Boxing its way outside

 

Your sister, she says she’s mostly mentally organized. 

That\'s mostly a lie. 

She says that because she wants to look good in your eyes

Because she knows that you want to be 

Exactly like her - pinpoint

Picture copy of me

Photocopied printer

Ctrl c

Ctrl v 

Twins of another 

Photoshopped version of me, 

that\'s what you will become and I hope that

No person will shoot bullets into your brain and heart

Time and time again

 

Your older sister,
She’s been told many things

Many lies

Many stories

I see you, my little sparrow, 

You trust as much as i did

You are 

A open book 

Little doll

The world is waiting to 

Scribble all over your features

And break your limbs.


Your older sister, 

She’s a broken doll. 

She’s missing the limb of trust,

Her locks of hope

Buried within deep in her chest, 

Resides an empty heart under lock and key.


My little sparrow, 

It is hard for me to show you

How much i love you as your

Older sister

Broken as I have become. My words

May be harsh at times

But

I don\'t want to see you

Become like me.


Dear little bird.

dear little sparrow of mine,

here\'s a secret,

your older sister

Is not perfect.