Look under a rock, you will find me.
With a diary beside me.
Dated March 18’th.
2020.
Cause that’s all I could be.
That’s where I am.
I wish I could go forward.
But I am stuck in my past.
How could it be already 4 years?
Since all of it happened to me.
The beauty now I lack.
Is gone in a glimpse of an eye.
That lasted a thousand years.
For mom and dad it was a couple of weeks.
Maybe a month.
But for me it’s eternity.
All the things I see.
All around me.
Once belonged to me.
The happiness the content.
All the children’s laughs.
I could say that I fought at least.
Won the battle.
Lost the war.
Lost on a surface of a star.
Burning brightly.
Penetrating deep through me.
Leaving all kinds of scars.
sewn poorly.
Bleeding till I die.
And I won’t get a constellation.
Written in the skies.
Written in my name.
I wish I could stop, figuring out my past.
Worrying about what is ahead of me.
And watch a single frame.
Of what I am doing now.
And what I could be.
It’s not about my luck.
Or where I was raised.
It’s something I could never change.
It’s just a thought to be.
Broken and forgotten.
But what one can do?
I guess I will live through.
Move and move and move.
Deeper shades of blue.
Move and move and move.
Far away from all rays.
In a land with a blackish hue.
Move move move.
Move move move.
Move.
Use your youth…