Re: Pitch Submission from Geoffrey Gray.
To Mr Gray,
Unfortunately, your pitch at this morning’s meeting; did not meet the requirements of the board of directors, and we hereby return your written submission.
We do hope that you are not discouraged by this rebuttal.
Kind regards,
Gonerby Fultington Grove Catpith.
(inner monologue) - Rebuttal, hmm! Rebuttal! Hrrr!
Re: Rebuttal of Pitch Submission from Geoffrey Gray.
To Mr Gonerby Fultington Grove Catpith,
Thank you for returning my written submission, and your attached sordid mangily, wangily teeny memo.
Unfortunately, your email does not meet my requirements at present, as I spent the whole of yesterday lunchtime writing the submitted pitch, that you have so instantly rebutted. I can only imagine it’s the firm’s procedure to refuse all pitch submissions, that have not been completed via the accompaniment of an ear bleedingly loud audio description! And yes, I do know that it is bold to reply to any type of censure, but in this world, don’t we strive to be pioneers? In which case, in this, I am. Henceforth, I reserve the right to dub you all: change rapists!
There is still opportunity for all of you to alter your stance on this matter, and I think you will, if you knew what I have in store for our next meeting. I will pull away at your skins to reveal whatever’s left of your dank spirits, of which, I will brutally yank out, and then decant into bottles, to wit, I will store in my tastefully made cellar dungeon, where you’ll be lost forever, guaranteeing your insipid, vacuous business acumen will never sully anywhere in the cosmos ever again!
I do hope that you are not discouraged by your abrupt, vicious demise.
Best wishes,
Geoffrey Gray.
(inner monologue) - Everybody, everybody approved, that he was correct to suck out the souls of the board of directors, and to do it with a Henry Hoover was absolutely sick. Geoffrey, they yelled, no Graham, Graham! Graham, they yelled, bravo, here have this loot crate full of wonderful things, and please visit our glampsite next week!