I took a day off from the Loony bin
And went for a walk to take the sun in
I was feeling well and all at ease
Watching the birds sing in the trees
Then I turned a corner and to my surprise
Was a walking talking lemon meringue pie
I couldn\'t believe it and thought I was mad
Then I heard a voice and knew it was bad
\'Wanna lick?\' she said in voice so crude
Oh dear god i thought. It\'s Gertrude!
Now I\'m not opposed to a pastry delight
But dear reader this one gave me a terrible fright
The meringue was burnt and cinder black
The sugary lemon was dripping off fat
But the base of the pie is what broke me
Strategically placed over her well used fa.... (You get the idea)
It started to crumble as Gertrude came close
A bit fell off. I was white as a ghost
\"Come on dear. I taste I really good.
There\'s more to me than this lovely food\"
The horror of it all was evil and vile
And my vomit just went straight to my bile
Another crust cracked to reveal something more
I was whimpering and shaking as i fell to the floor
But my moanings and pleadings were misunderstood
Gertrude seemed eager for me to intrude
I closed my eyes and prayed for a sign
Thats when i felt a drop of the pie
Slowly it dripped down my tear stricken face
And i knew there was no escaping this place
And that dear reader is when i blacked out
I was woken with a slap and a reptitive shout
\"Wake you fool. You\'re having a dream!\"
I opened my eyes and there was no sign of pie cream.
I was still in bed in my lovely asylum.
The nurse was beside me with a face that was glum.
I never felt so much relief
I was famished and drained with disbelief
\"I\'m hungry\" I said but to my surprise
The dish of the day was lemon meringue pie