I finally saw her again!
My sunshine
My joy
My other half
Except now every time we interacted I couldn’t stop this feeling of guilt and sadness
I convinced myself that I’m betraying the women who gave me a family and a roof under my head.
I’m betraying her by interacting with my sunshine.
How dare I
I’ve been forcing myself to put a distance between us but this year I didn’t have to!
We were in the same classes! I had a reason to talk to her! We could see each other everyday!
But then she left
Had a distaste for a class and then her whole schedule was switched up.
I’m alone again, I’m okay though because she’s happier with her new schedule and she left because it just didn’t work out.
I don’t blame her, my mother’s happy again too so that’s a plus!
Right?
My sunshine has a new best friend now too.
It was bound to happen and I’m happy she has someone else to laugh and smile with, I am genuinely!!
But why does it still hurt me so much?
I mean as long as I was able to make myself useful and her happy in the short time we had together this year, it’d all have been worth it.