I am studying to be a nurse
To care for others
But how am I supposed to do so?
When I do not care for myself?
As time went by, I realised:
Perhaps we are our own harshest critiques
With the voices in our head
And wheels overworking in our minds
Somehow it is an amazing feat we can find a dark spot among all the light
When going for internships, every instructor always asked,
\"Why do you want to be a nurse?\"
\"What drove you to join nursing?\"
I can\'t help but feel annoyed
There are a myriad of responses:
\"To learn useful skills to care for my parents when they are older.\"
\"This was a mid-life career switch.\"
\"It\'s an iron rice bowl.\"
\"I stayed in a hospital before and the nurses were nice to me.\"
So I\'ve learnt to lie my way through such questions
I feel like I am floating on a piece of wood in the stormy sea
The skies are cloudy and no islands or boats are around me
I am hanging on, but barely
I feel alone
Because am I the only one struggling to find a grounding purpose in life?
Some go to the Pacific Ocean on their well-equipped yacht
Some float to the Indiana Ocean with their friends and a promise
Some discover the Indian Ocean eagerly
Some stayed in the Arctic Ocean with their families
But I have no fire to light my way
So, in the dark,
I continue wasting away
And I thought to myself:
Going with the flow is all I can do for now despite all my doubts
At least I am floating. Albeit barely.