2.19
This is an introduction, perhaps to something new.
I have never tried to keep a journal before, but….
2.24
….if the worst comes to worst, i wish to
Lead. resist. Change
Because it is evident that
I will have to do so.
On a lighter note,
Drawing class is well….
3.19
…i now swear, that i will never work
In a partnership willingly again unless
Its with people i definitely work
Well with………………………………..
I hope this captures it well:
GAHHHHARGHHHH—
…
3.26
….Oh how the sun is so merciless, to watch our
Small battles, without raising even so much
Of a whisper, but so kind to provide us a
Final warmth.
4.19
My long term goals/dreams:
- learn a language fluently
…
…
- eat more/better
…
- publish a book or script
- win an art contest
…
- Get better at impromptu speaking
- Do more self care
- Focus better
…
- Restrain anger better
4. 25
…Yes me, who never shows her true emotions
To anyone except my family, did cry. That
Is, 3 days. [today is the third].
…. Or perhaps
thats just what loneliness does to the idle
dreamers brain.
Whatever.
Shes gone. I cant bring her back, ever really…
6. 25
… i think partying is one kind of a drug, in a way.
The more addicted you are the more pushy and
Shorter your tolerance is for other people….
Not to mention the loneliness……
6.28
….I am exhausted in more ways than one. But i
Am happy. I feel more free and light….
7.2
I feel like im slowly falling apart again.
I am suffering, holding something in my heart,
But i have no idea what it is.….
…I wish i had someone for me to
Convey my heart to….
…I make sense, yet i make no sense. This
Is the essence of humankind, whatever
You wish to understand will make clear,
Perfect sense to you.
I am falling apart, but i remain together.
This is what i do not understand.
Why do i care….
My heart is crying in an iron cage
But i am whole,
I am still fine.
7.7
…i started playing this new videogame,
Its quite fun, a little bit tough at times
[and annoying]...
….im not doing enough…
…Messy room, i dont feel hungry @ all,
Only very nauseous, i have a
Headache that wont leave, my
Stomach is terrible and i feel like something else
Is coming to
Haunt me….
…
…
..
…I guess i’ll deal with it when the time comes.
Heres a list of things i need to fix:
…
7.14
Things i need to do in a day:
….
Things i want to do:
…
Possible schedule:
…
7.17
I dont think ive ever had a friend.….
…Its hard for me to speak all my words and
Have them be heard the right way. Its like a
Language barrier….
7.31
Today i went to [amusement park name]
It was really fun. Im the type of person to go
On any ride, and rarely scream while we ride.
A lot of the girls i went with screamed. A lot
I dont see the point in it…..
…i walked a lot around the
park and now my legs are done for…
…im worried about her getting old.
A lot actually….
… thats 5 decades, thats a lot.
Thats old for me.
But what do i know?
9.6
…its kinda annoying. And frustrating. I cried. But its
Not something i cant control at this point.
10.21
…but my mind has been
Spinning out more and more things that i cant
Comprehend anymore. And these concepts have been
Stuck within my mind. And i have been stuck
With them and this makes me distanced from
Others, for you can only exist in one place, your
Mind or reality.
Philosophy aside,
Tomorrow i’m going protesting….
12.12
Today is a step forward, not a useful step,
But at least some form of a step forward….
12.24
Left yall on a cliffhanger.
So the day after i did that [arrow pointing to previous entry]
I got in trouble….
…god so help my new plan.
I guess i am a troublemaker/revolutionary
At heart. I need to build on it now.
2.14
…. Every passing day i feel both happier and
Sadder for myself.
I guess that comes with age
However, I will prevail.
Ok that sounds like a villain wrote it but who knows,
I might be someone elses villain in their life…..
….
[insert drawing of a creepy smiley face, why did i draw that?]
….So despite the regret i will carry for the rest of my life…
…I feel like i will become better.
I will.
IA.
4.14
I feel like i keep messing up…
[the rest is truly unreadable]
6.23
… i should try and practice writing speeches….
6.23
Topic: the importance of curiosity in personal growth
Tone: inspiring
Rough draft by: —------------
—---------------------------------------------------------
“Curiosity killed the cat” a phrase we have been
…Drilled into the back of our minds … but why?....
8.16
Need to get done:
…
Want to get done:
…
Rough Schedule that i\'ve drafted:
…