My heart drums loudly
My body aches and burns
My mind whizzes proudly
And I start to toss and turn
I’m laying down in bed
Trying to close my eyes
But I can’t shut off my head
And I feel paralysed
A vivid picture, a scene
A terrible trauma of pain
I feel really sick and green
My muscles starting to strain
The memories continue to play
Disturbing and horribly shocking
I can’t keep them away
So there’s no point in blocking
They flood my mind
A red, laser light
Attacking from behind
Drowning me in fright
Different outcomes
Even though they’re improbable
They all become banging hums
Ignoring them is impossible
But these things took place
A long time ago, shouldn’t they
Be gone, without a trace?
I feel lost, and I can’t find my way
I wish I could practise letting go
And learn to forget
But my heart beats faster though
And I break into a sweat
My breath is uneven
I squeeze my eyes shut tighter
Even though I’ve seen them
It makes the thoughts brighter
After each terrible memory
Going to sleep is too hard
I don’t have the energy
PTSD has left me scarred