NinjaGirl

thick thoughts

sitting in class - perfectly safe when

my mind plagues me

 

I don\'t recognize it\'s you first

there are so many students in the classroom and I\'m in the far corner

you\'re yelling and I\'m frozen

\"get down, everybody get down right now!\"

you have a gun and I slip slowly to the floor

im afraid were going to die, but I still don\'t know its you until you call my name

it took me a minute, you came over to me

picked me up by my hair and forced me to stand

\"YOU RUINED MY LIFE\"

you yelled at me and I stayed there still frozen

none of my classmates had any reaction I\'m sure they just didn\'t want to die

staring into your eyes I recognized you, after not seeing you all these years

\"I didn\'t ruin your life\" I squeaked \"you did\"

you angrily pushed me against the wall, the gun up against my head

\"HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY LIFE\"

more courage gained I replied \"who decided to assault me? you did.  who\'s holding a gun? you\"

im not little anymore and I wont be guilted into believing it was my fault

\"You Liked it.\"  you say but I know the lie

\"I didn\'t know what it was\" I argued still \"I was too young\"

\"you didn\'t fight back. you didn\'t run away.  you didn\'t even cry.  and you came back-YOU came back to me. because you liked it.\"

I knew he needed someone to blame

couldnt accept the fact that it was his fault

\"I came back because... because I was Scared. I didn\'t know what to do and I thought if I listened to you it would be over faster.\"

the police came crashing in and got you to drop your gun

you threatened to shoot me but ended up giving in---

 

and then I realize I\'m back

back in the classroom again

and nothing has happened

it was all in my head