When I got up this morning there was water in the shower
and I thought: \"How am I going to survive?\"
First off, I called a plumber, but I waited for an hour
and I doubt that he\'s intending to arrive.
I tried a sticking plaster, but that was a disaster -
it did not begin to mitigate the leak.
In fact, it seems the water is flowing even faster.
Am I going round the bend or up the creek?
I\'m calling the insurance. It\'s a test of my endurance.
I\'m on hold - that means I\'ll have to wait for ever
and the bloody dreadful music simply makes me want to lose it.
How I wish that I was competent and clever.
When everything goes wrong, why aren\'t I big and strong
enough to deal with all the problems in my life?
Now I\'ve got a sinking feeling water\'s coming through the ceiling.
I\'m just waiting for the grown-ups to arrive.