Tom Dylan

Another One of The Lads

He drinks pints of lager and

watches the football with the lads,

he tips and flirts with the young barmaid

and tries his best to make her laugh.

 

He boasts about how many beers he drinks

and how rough he feels the next day,

I didn’t get home until two, he says,

you should have seen the wife’s face.

 

He tells the boys how much he wins on the horses

but says nothing every time that they lose,

he knows it all and you can’t tell him anything,

he’s always got a point to prove.

 

His so-called banter borders on bullying

but he’s only having a laugh,

he always orders the full English breakfast

in the local greasy spoon caff.

 

He tells jokes down the pub with the lads

and most of his punchlines offend,

but if anyone complains, he always insists

he’s just having a laugh with his friends.

 

He wakes one morning with cuts on his face

from when he fell drunk, banged his head,

the truth is that somebody punched him

for something offensive he said.

 

He loves lager and football with the lads,

and is always good for the craic,

but he tries so hard to impress

that they laugh at him behind his back.