I know you are asleep. Perhaps it’s best that way.
I won’t fight. We’ve done that. I have something to say.
You can’t hear me. But I have to voice my concerns.
I swear by the cold ancient Moon as it turns,
I’m drowning. I am in water up to my chin.
I am done fighting the fight that no-one can win.
Do you even see me anymore? Am I here?
Do you even care about me? I’m lost in fear.
What do you see when you look at me? A sad ghost?
Or some wretch you felt sorry for and now you boast,
That you married the poor sad fool to ease her pain?
Am I something that you sleep with now and again?
And ignore for the rest of the day and the night.
I can’t go on like this anymore. I can’t fight.
I’m dead inside. Each day I grow a bit weaker.
My view of my life and my love is getting bleaker.
What do you really want from this relationship?
Do you care and respect the vows of our courtship?
You said you would love me through the good times and bad,
Our lives are just a faint shadow of what we once had.
Do you even try to say my name anymore?
You call me sweetie like it is a horrid chore.
My name is Belinda and it means beautiful.
You reduced me to a nick name as usual.
I am left wondering where Belinda is now.
She had great hopes and dreams that you will not allow.
Because nothing has happened the way it should have.
I am alone in this marriage in a dark cave?
I can’t feel anything . I don’t even exist.
I’ll be gone in the morning but I won’t be missed.