you don’t love me anymore
I could tell from your eyes
that something had changed
you didn’t have to say anything
you still takes me on drives at night
with one hand on the wheel
looking longingly out the window
blasting the music loud enough
to shatter the air around us
because you know
I don’t like to talk much
you still hang around the park
after dark
when everyone has gone home
and the porch lights are off
you sit curled up in the tube slide
back arched like a cat
while I sit by the captain’s wheel
at the top of the playground
on the stern of the ship
you’ve changed since we met
I’ve changed since we met
four years ago
in eighth grade math class
I can’t tell if we missed our time
or if it just hasn’t come yet
all I know is that you’re different
and I trust you more than any man
I’ve ever known
your hair was long when we met
then short
then buzzed
now short again
my hair was short when we met
shorter than yours
it’s grown so much
we were the same, quiet and strange
I think we’re both
still quiet and strange
just less quiet together
you look so handsome when you drive
speeding down the backroads
in your old Subaru
the one that’s been through
all your cousins
and faced the damage
of restless Catholic teenagers
you do doughnuts in parking lots
it’s the only thing you do
that pisses me off
but I know you only do it
because you know it also makes me laugh
you look so handsome
in the dark
face illuminated by a neon moon
looking up at the stars
laying on a picnic blanket
somewhere away from this town
a twenty minute drive up a gravel road
where the light pollution can’t reach us
you look so handsome
when you’re quiet
and the only thing that speaks
is your eyes
it was the first thing I noticed about you
your eyes
slightly downturned
with the eyelashes of a girl
they always look far away
like they carry some sort of sadness
they only care deeply
or not at all
they know nothing in between
always sickeningly nonchalant
I know you aren’t perfect
alcohol embraces you like a warm hug
and you work far too hard
holding your future firmly in your palm
you never take a second to breathe
to stop and enjoy where you are now
you’re always a few seconds
ahead of the clock
but I still love you
and I’ll wait