tallisman

1969

Do you remember when we playing in the streets of Belfast 

All those years ago?

An age of innocence quickly surpassed

As the violence around us would grow

–

Patrolling alleys armed with batons, playing paramilitary games

10 years old and it’s already too late

A child of the times, a childhood in the flames

of violence, death and hate

–

Held down in the bushes, arms pinned to the floor

Forced and scared and alone

Maybe two of them, five years older or more

Carving UDA in my flesh with a stone

–

Another day, another beating, another blow to the head

I’m English so I get what they think I must fear

Another day thinking I’d be better off dead

Its not like I asked to be here

–

Wrong nationality, wrong accent, wrong faith

Wrong time,wrong place, all wrong

Learn to hide in shadows like a ghost, a wraith

Weak when I should have been strong

–

These are people I see every day

They say blood is thicker than water

But blood is harder to explain away

Than the water spilt during torture

–

Hold me down, pouring water into my mouth till I almost drown

Watch me choke and cough and vomit it back out

Then holding my nose, keep pouring it down, pouring it down…

Cannot breathe, cannot win, cannot shout

–

Todays beating in Ormeau park takes place at 4pm

Roll up roll up, See the English boy. On his knees again.

–

And Police sirens keep rushing by

Playing that Belfast lullaby

Echoed explosions, maybe ten

Death walks the night again

–

A book of memories with redacted pages

Belfast days deeply resented

In my head a storm still rages

Which memories are true and which invented

–

And why have the rest of my memories dissolved 

Except In my dreams where I kick and fight

50 plus years and still unresolved

still a child trembling in a Belfast night