tallisman

1969

Do you remember when we playing in the streets of Belfast 

All those years ago?

An age of innocence quickly surpassed

As the violence around us would grow

Patrolling alleys armed with batons, playing paramilitary games

10 years old and it’s already too late

A child of the times, a childhood in the flames

of violence, death and hate

Held down in the bushes, arms pinned to the floor

Forced and scared and alone

Maybe two of them, five years older or more

Carving UDA in my flesh with a stone

Another day, another beating, another blow to the head

I’m English so I get what they think I must fear

Another day thinking I’d be better off dead

Its not like I asked to be here

Wrong nationality, wrong accent, wrong faith

Wrong time,wrong place, all wrong

Learn to hide in shadows like a ghost, a wraith

Weak when I should have been strong

These are people I see every day

They say blood is thicker than water

But blood is harder to explain away

Than the water spilt during torture

Hold me down, pouring water into my mouth till I almost drown

Watch me choke and cough and vomit it back out

Then holding my nose, keep pouring it down, pouring it down…

Cannot breathe, cannot win, cannot shout

Todays beating in Ormeau park takes place at 4pm

Roll up roll up, See the English boy. On his knees again.

And Police sirens keep rushing by

Playing that Belfast lullaby

Echoed explosions, maybe ten

Death walks the night again

A book of memories with redacted pages

Belfast days deeply resented

In my head a storm still rages

Which memories are true and which invented

And why have the rest of my memories dissolved 

Except In my dreams where I kick and fight

50 plus years and still unresolved

still a child trembling in a Belfast night