all of a sudden i am sixteen again
blowing smoke out the rooftop window
alone except for the stars in the sky above
soft pitter patter of rain against the window
only now i am no longer consumed by self-loathing
or plagued with that hatred for every fibre of my being
was it ever even mine in the first place?
i\'m transported back into my old bedroom
gloomy in the dark apart from the soft glow of my computer screen
i see myself there, tap tapping away at the keyboard
misunderstood by those around me
so i turned to pouring my heart out to strangers on the internet
hoping someone would read between the lines
and help me find the missing piece
surely then i would feel whole again?
one, two, three too many times did i curse the sky above me
for that tragic, lonely ache soaring through my veins
feeding the belief that there was something very wrong within my dna
and when everyone i loved had left or been pushed away
there was no one else but myself to face
it was then i understood that i wasn\'t doomed
the moment i entered my mother\'s womb
that hollow space inside my bones
was never made for anyone else to hold
now, more than a decade later, i can clearly see
it had always been a perfectly shaped mold
wherein self-love is supposed to go and flow