I should’ve known she was here,
Because I looked at the beautiful sky,
The shining sun, and heard sweet bird songs,
But couldn’t find it in me to smile.
I should’ve known she was here,
Because getting out of bed was hard,
As hard as inhaling air underwater, impossible,
And my blanket seemed to be made of lead.
I should’ve known she was here,
When the insides of my mind transformed,
Into the vast empty chaos that fills this Universe,
Every word disappearing into a black hole.
I should’ve known she was here,
The moment I felt the fieriest rage in me,
The flames of which turned all in my path to ashes,
As I unflinchingly watched the destruction.
I should’ve known she was here,
When every single part of me ached,
As if I was bruised and being beaten to death,
And I was completely defenceless.
I should’ve known she was here,
When I wanted to cry at everything and nothing,
When I felt like the living dead had escaped her grave,
But I only knew when I saw the red.