I never really noticed the little things until now
The kinds of things that are passed between us and just accepted, not necessarily acknowledged, yet still there
Like when we\'d walk down the hallways, the corners of your lips raising with your brows
Your hand unconsciously slipping into mine while your fingers play with my hair
It took losing you to realize all the little things, so tender yet as imperceptible as a grass blades bow
The way you\'d complement my outfits, my glossy lips, or smell my scent, our steps falling in unison
The slight twinkle in your eyes when you tell me another one of your stupid jokes
I can\'t stop thinking of all the little things now, how much I miss them like the cold Earth misses the sun
Because I took them for granted, not realizing how special it made me feel until that bond broke
How you\'d always pick up after me when I wake up in the morning a mess
I\'d cook and forget to put the eggs and coffee back, forget to empty the coffee grounds
And I\'d yell at you for putting it all back but you\'d just hug me and say \"you did your best\"
We\'d get into your car, and you\'d put your hand on my thigh, the burning sensation traveling to my ears, numbing all sounds
And I\'d just smile like a fool, laying my hand on top of yours and putting my head on your shoulder
The way you would always give me your sweater when the winter rolled on over
I didn\'t have to ask for any of it, yet it was still there, so obvious yet so invisible
Then when the winter was over, all of a sudden, so were we, and all of it became very visible
Because now, it hurts to see you with that someone else, so happy together
When we talk, its not the same, and suddenly I can still feel that cold weather
Even when I try to sleep, its like you haunt my dreams, now everyone says I should be over it, and I scream \"I know!\"
I know I should be over it but I can\'t because you love them like you used to love me, possibly even more
And I don\'t even know if you know it yourself yet, but I can hear it in the excitement in your voice, the way your eyes glow
The way you hover around them with a smile that only to me you used to show
And that hurts, as much as I lie to myself and say that its fine, its not
Because now, I walk alone in the hallways, my hands tucked in my pockets, and my head down low
The only jokes I hear are the ones on my phone when I\'m scrolling late at night, letting my brain rot
Waking up like a zombie in the morning and making myself breakfast, but the milk went bad, and the coffee was dry and cold
Because again, I forgot, but you weren\'t there this time to help me out
And when I get home I just laugh when I see it, laugh with tears, and now when I drive alone in my car I can still feel that imprint on my thigh
That heated imprint that you left behind, and sometimes I still trace it exactly how it was while I cry
I got sick this winter now because it got cold, and the only jacket I had was at home, the ice creeping through my veins like my doubts
Because that very same cold day I saw you and them, them walking around with your sweater, and I felt the tear on my cheek crystallize
I try to ignore it, but the little things seem to stick with me, like the other day someone complimented my glossy lips
And I felt that pang in my heart, even as I smiled a thank you I could feel that pain
Reverberating throughout my body, pounding in every vessel and vein
Because for a second I saw the ghost of you, twinkle in your eyes, that smile that made my stomach do flips
But it disappeared when you walked right past me with an arm around them, and again I felt that pain
Not the kind of pain you feel when you stub a toe or accidentally cut yourself, but the kind that\'s like a heartache of anxiousness
From feeling utterly alone
I could be in a room surrounded by friends and family and still feel the loneliness press from your absence
I\'ll smile and talk and laugh but on the inside I still feel like a heavy cold stone
Since I don\'t have you here to love me anymore
I see you and them still, so happy and free
And in my head I\'ll scream \"that should be me\"
Because I still don\'t understand how they checked more boxes for you
How after a week or two you immediately knew
How you just left us behind so easily and forgot out memory
Well, guess what? I still remember everything
From your birthday to your favorite music to your pets names
Remember the way you called me your healer to your hearts maims
And I guess that\'s all I was, a nurse caring for your wounds
Even though I planned and measured our life together out with coffee spoons
But that\'s fine, I know I\'ll never forget
Well, I won\'t forget you but still leave the kitchen a mess
I\'ll walk down the halls, hands in pockets and head down low
I\'ll get in the car and feel your stupid imprint while I drive down the road
I wish you the best and worst at the same time
And I hope you remember me every time you hear another poem or rhyme