Gain,
its mesmerizing, this personal struggle you cant seem to tame.
Is it a rush, imagining all these hypothetical, unacceptable possibilities that in truth, are lame.
If nothing is different, then it must be the same.
Yet you continiue with no regard, claiming your insane.
Pain is not physical. It all derives from emotional damage, that binds you in chains.
The same as, only smiling when its dark, and then begins to rain.
Taking a hostage and beating your misery into there brain.
Gain,
Do you? Do you gain anything that betters you, or do you gain the same? The same misery that your accustomed to.