“you’re running out of time”
is what he said to me
as he laid in my bed
and Mazzy Star sung
from the CD player
on my bookshelf
“Blue Light
there’s a blue light
in his eye”
and I know he’s right
every day that passes
I grow more poisoned
by this little town
despite the acres of farm
and herds of cows
crying in the night
I long for more
“there’s a world
outside my doorstep
there’s a ship
that sails by my window
there’s a world
under it
I think I see it
sailing
away”
I feel the waves
pulling me out the door
I could leave
pack a bag
buy that rusted Volkswagen
drive down the west coast
I’ll meet a guy
somewhere down in Oregon
and go across the country
working seasonal jobs
and wasting away my savings
on gas
I’ll bring my Mazzy Star CD
and play Blue Light
on highway US 101
“I think I hear them
waves crashing me by”
instead I sit alone
in the university library
blinded by the
Blue Light
of my laptop screen
working on my research proposal
till dawn
so I can graduate college
so I can go to work
so I can settle
so I can die
and the second I say
“I want something different”
I’m a fool