how many times
did I fall asleep with a knife
because I was sitting awake
ready to slit my wrist?
how many days
did I wake up panicked
that I slept with a knife
and could have got hurt?
how many cuts
do my sheets and covers have
from accidentally letting it go?
was it my nemesis
the fact that I could attempt a lot
but not the knife?
is it twisted
for thinking I was safe
by having an escape?
knowing I could just
slash my wrist
and end it all?
studying the number of liters
of blood I\'d need to lose
and thinking about cleaning it up?
the knife seemed a savior
a weapon to hurt
but an escape
sharp and powerful
causer and reliever of pain
I seek my revenge
plotting the downfall of them
ruining their reputation they say
warning other girls
only making it accurate
Now I cut to ruin a life
But not mine