AaliyahC.

You’re Pushing My Mind

Usually I’m fine I say

You tell me what you see and I don’t agree

But it’s the truth

It’s feared by me

I can’t see it

And I can’t feel it either

It’s so crushing

And it crushed me even more

What are you so honest for?

I said I ghosted

I don’t mention names

When I leave it’s because I’m fighting myself

I can’t help it

My mind has always been my demon

It’s not a friend

I’ve always wondered when my life would end

Would I even make it to 18?

Look your here

These past couple of days have broke my heart

And I think I need help

But I cant

And I’m sorry but I won’t

This feeling reminds me I’m alive

This painful feeling of sadness

Makes me stand on my feet everyday

Because there was never a point where happiness was my motivation for anything

It’s not deep in my head but out loud it’s an ocean

You’ve been pushing my mind and I don’t appreciate it

I mean I love you so much don’t get me wrong

I really do

But everything painful in my mind has nothing to do with you

I can’t tell you and I can’t let you in

I’d rather sink than swim

My life isn’t important and your just my best friend

I only have few who love me

A handful of friends

When I die it’s a means to an end