It\'s crazy to think
That on that Tuesday,
I didn\'t want to even
say goodbye.
On that Tuesday,
I sat there thinking,
Wondering if I\'ll ever see
Any of them again.
I sat on my bed and
I couldn\'t breathe,
The yelling so loud,
I was begging \"please\".
And then I did it, I
Swallowed them up,
Three at a time, and hoped that
Tomorrow I wouldn\'t wake up.
I was angry and sad,
And I felt so bad,
So instead of tomorrow,
I\'ll do it today.
And then a week later,
They all found out;
They wanted me to talk,
But I wanted to shout.
But even then I didn\'t cry,
Not until August,
And the more I lied,
The more I died inside.
So they sent me away
For 83 days, and hoped
Maybe I could come back,
Not so astray.
And for awhile after I was,
With a healthy brain,
My problems gone away,
I didn\'t feel that empty buzz.
But now it\'s later,
And there\'s no more support,
I\'m feeling bad again,
So much hurt.
I\'ve shed my blood
Sweat and tears for this,
But now I\'m afraid;
Where\'s my sweet bliss?
It was supposed to be
Better, but look at this,
I\'m back where I was
When did this slope become so slippery?
It\'s back where it was,
The second-to-last Tuesday in May,
January 20, that date
Won\'t sway.
But I don\'t want to die,
Do I?
But I keep hurting like this,
My hands clench to fists.
I don\'t want to die,
But like this
I don\'t think I can
Survive.
I\'m trying to find the words
To fight the hurt,
I\'m trying to get my shit together,
To beat the bad weather.
But I don\'t think I can do this,
Don\'t think I can
I don\'t think I can
I don\'t think Ican
I want to die
I want to die
I want to die
I\'ve been speaking too many lies