He’s seen daily fashioned in a Tailored Herringbone Suit,
School Tie Windsor-Knotted,
And a polished ‘Chelsea Boot’.
With all ‘Hello’ Thank you’, ‘How terribly Kind’,
And a Toast to the Monarch when he serves up the Wine.
He prefers to see Cricket than kicking a Ball,
Willow on leather and the Umpire’s call.
To rise for the Anthem before every game,
And today’s Popular Music all sounds just the same.
With the Renaissance Old Masters all grandeur does lie,
This most Modern of Art is an ‘Affront to the eye’.
For the ‘Sistine Madonna’ lights the clouds like the Sun,
As those bored dear ‘Putti’ see the Style yet to come.
He’ll have no lady stand, in ‘Want’ of a dance,
Chocolates and Roses to seal the Romance.
And off to the ‘Pictures’ for a film with Hugh Grant,
No ‘Goodfellas’ tale and a Profanity Rant.
‘Grace before Meals and to use the right spoon,
‘Oh would you excuse me’ when leaving the room.
He’ll pass the Port Left and never the Right
Hayes ‘Yellow Eyed God’ is the poem to recite.
When the Sabbath swings by, a visit he’ll pay,
For the Spirituality of all we do gather to pray.
Tip his Hat to the ‘Spinsters’ Who venerate there,
With a talk of Remembrance that they mutually share.
I suppose he’s Old Fashioned, a Tad out of date,
It’s often been said, he was born Centuries late.
But this is the man, all standards laid bare,
A regular old Gent with ‘Brilliantine’ Hair.