In the newness of the pain
it was unrecognizable to me as such
weight that I had never known existed
my spirit came unwired from my soul
I could see but I could not touch,
over and over for eternity.
Inside my begging and pleading
was electricity that had gone too long undetected,
deaf to any sensible thing, uncomforted.
One moment standing, the next knocked to my knees,
plans cut cleanly off; beliefs came disconnected
in the trajectory of torment.
Lights evolved from blurred to blinding.
Inside the pain were knives of no reason;
some cutting out, some carving in,
fire that scorched but did never consume.
Shrieking of gargoyles and unbreathing faces
inside houses well stocked, people starving in them.
My torso had been cut halfway thru,
longways from pocket to shoulder.
Beating heart that fell on the uninterested floor
reminded me of how I now must continue
though growing weaker, poorer, older.
Confronted face to face with the dark angel,
looked just like me.