Maybe I knew what I was doing, it wasn’t so much intentional, before I realized I was willing to sacrifice almost anything for the most important relationships in the life of I.
I had no idea people would use this way about i, to get by.
They knew before I did, that I was willing to die, for them.
So she definitely knew what I was willing to do, when her belly grew.
The hardest pill I ever had to chew.
When I found out the baby wasn’t mine but by WHO!?
You introduced him to I, as your cousin.
Now he’s your ex, you say he ?aped you and made what’s ours.
She knew, they all knew.
Yet, I took responsibility for another man’s creation.
Believed the lies, saved her from humiliation.
Some say I was distracted by her weaknesses.
I couldn’t have told you if I was or not.
I know I chose to stay with her.
The pain I would express would go on to justify the mistreatment of I.
Even still, I had to be doing something right
Because My creation was born, Kavali khi.
So there I was living with a lie, with one that is, and with one that is not mine.
DRICO!! Leave and grow a spine, do you know how much you can really shine, without her.
I knew, that if I wasn’t there, the beings I choose to call son, wouldn’t know.
Even still, when she told me she was pregnant AGAIN, by another man, I knew had to go.
I finally did what everyone constantly told me to do, and I chose.
I chose to die and leave my sons and my home.
I was alone but not like before, without the ones I adore, I was broken, poor.
Anxious, excited, eager, suicidal about opening new doors.
Degraded my sense of self to settle the score,
I didn’t know how ready I was to die and be reborn.
Thorns in my side, splinters of pride, became my disguise.
I chose to become the guy that could never get too high.
There was no limit to my sky yet so many made me to be the object of their eye with all the intentions to steal my shine.
I felt they betrayed my light, I was lost to time my fate was more than unknown, I was horrified, afraid of my grave.
In the darkness, I heard my voice, I spoke my name.
I was challenging the ego of I, no one was there to tell me I’m insane, or playing a game.
intentions were deep, simple and plain, I was willing to change.
Days I spent in the sun and nights in my makeshift cave.
In the void, I remembered what it is to brave.
Connected to my surroundings as a being of appreciation, not a slave to my ignorance.
Mother earth spoke to me, integrated I into the intentions of all creation.
Through my willingness, I was alive.
Faced with an opportunity to despise that which mother earth showed me I attempted to hide.
I embraced what I created, a life that is mine.
Son’s of I, to the one that is, to the one that is not mine, my willingness, my sacrifice was worth it, as I see the purity, the innocence in your eyes, momma will tell you like she told I, it’s okay to cry.
May the women in your life be a reflection of mother earth.
Plant your seeds, cherish every root and vine, because you my son’s, let us all know how important it is to have a father who’s intentions above all, are to be one with divine.
L1SL HHB