Kevin Hulme

Beatable Prices

There was an Item of News in the Paper today,

About a lowlife young thief, who fled clean away,

He set himself up to raiding a store,

For paying in cash is a bit of a bore.

So off he went with the intention quite plain,

To steal all he can and be away with his gains.

So once in the shop he noticed with fun,

A lone girl in the Aisle with a Labelling-Gun.

Engrossed in her work , her attention was lost,

In ‘Pennies’ and ‘Pounds’ by applying the cost.

‘Give me your Cash’ he said with a shout,

‘And be pretty damn quick, with no messing about’.

Now Beth as it seems while attending the Sale,

Had a Headache quite high, on the Richter Scale,

So being wound-up and quick to inflame,

You could say she was peeved and had no time for his Game.

And quick as a flash she attacked with her Gun,

And by hitting with force, his troubles begun.

Click upon Click went the Gun to the face,

Click after Click at a rattling pace.

He soon had enough and couldn’t take anymore,

And turned about tail and made soon for the door,

To escape down the street like a Bat out of Hell,

How frighted he was; Only his laundry may tell.

And that was the Tale of the lonesome thief,

Who’s dabbling in crime was thankfully brief.

Now the Police in a statement have officially said,

They are looking for a man with a ‘Price on his Head’.