She said “I hope you have one just like you” every time I was ornery or hard headed.
While I was playing too rough and getting hurt.
When I responded in the ways she didn’t like.
I hope you have one just like you.
This typical mother’s curse left her lips more times than I can count.
When I was slow getting out of bed in the morning or when I had more energy and excitement than she could handle.
In the moments I was too much and in the moments I was not enough.
I hope you have one JUST like you.
She’d say between laughs with her legs crossed so she wouldn’t pee.
In the moments I was strong for her because she couldn’t be.
With crushing hugs and a kiss on the cheek.
I hope you have one just like you.
She uttered these words angrily at times, but more often than not, playfully.
Though that’s never how I perceived it.
I could never fully understand why she would say such a thing.
A child like me? Why would anyone want that? Why would she curse this world with another me?
I hope you have one just like you.
At 33 I now understand why she would curse the world in this way.
A little me?
Full of imagination and wonder? Full of magic and blinding light? Full of kindness meant to be coddled and grown?
I’ve been cursed to have a little girl, exactly like me.
Spitting image, waves/curls and all. Freckles that speckle her skin like constellations only she could know. Green eyes that shine with light from within. Wonder that only she can bring to the world. A stubbornness meant to teach her to learn that not everything has to be learned the hard way. A sharp tongue and wit that remains unmatched. A deep feeler and even deeper thinker. A little girl who wants all the knowledge of the world, who wants to help, and cure, and fix, and most importantly love. A child who may not change this entire world but she will forever alter mine.
And through this curse and learning to love a little version of me for all that she is and can be, I would finally see this curse for exactly what it is. Not a curse but a plea that every mother has.
A desperate plea for me to finally
Love,
Me