JuneM

I try

I try, everyday

I smile, laugh, listen, and wave

I try not to think about my miserable life

So I help others deal with their own inner strife

I try, not thinking about the scars 

Marring my thighs and arms

I try not to think of how tired I am

So tired, from how many dark depths I\'ve swam

I try not to break out in tears

From my own anxiety or fears

Instead I focus on something else

Anything and everything besides myself

Because when I look in the mirror

I see a flawed stranger that\'s bitter

See a too big nose, strange brows, and too dark eyes

See not an angel, but a devil in disguise

I try, so hard

To be happy and mend my hearts broken shards

But sometimes even playing pretend

Won\'t earn you the bestest of friends

I\'m kind because I\'ve been through abuse

And I\'ve been used

So I try to treat others kindly with an open ear

But even then I just get drank like a beer

I\'m still trying though

And probably always will

Until one day my heartbeat slows

And my breathing stills.