It feels good
It has always felt good
I’m not sure when i became so used to it
Unbearable to see it
Even through shower steam
The mirror mocks me day in and day out
I couldn’t bring myself to buy one
A scale that is
No matter the number it’ll always feel like too much
The ache is familiar
The vibration welcoming
The sound of my body eating itself away
The fridge and the cabinets
They stare down at me like gods
Ready to punish me at a moment’s notice
I keep walking
Keep running
Toward an ideal that i know is unattainable
It feels so good
It has always felt this good
And i feel guilty that i let myself get used to it