Time has passed
The burning fire in my belly has not
All these years
I danced for you
Put on a mask
A facade you could be proud of
The facade is cracking
I fear what might emerge
For this crackling vengeance
I buried long ago
But it never died
Not fully
It roars it\'s indignation
At the treatment I have received
From the mouths
Of those who were meant to be my protectors
Instead who became my greatest tormentors
I am not an angry person
But oh how I am burning
Part of my soul shrieks for justice
To do unto them as they did unto me
I am trying to keep peace within me
I am slowly failing
The cracks are beginning to reveal
Who really resides within
My flesh
While fair and kind
Her anger is not something
You would like kindled
For you it has been lit for years
If no terror fills you
It should
For when I can no longer contain it
Even I am afraid to see what will emerge
I know the beast inside
Has waited and boded its time
It can sense It is coming and it wants
Blood
So much blood it thirsts for
Those around me are caught in the crossfire at times
They are not the targets
You are
Who cares if I am not perfect
Who cares if I am not everything you tried to make me
So what if I am so much more than you can see?
You do not know me
Nor will you ever I am beginning to think
You only see the picture you want
Not the picture you have
I will no longer paint scenery for you
Pick up your own damn brush
Look at the portrait before you
See the vibrant colors that fill it
Even if you did not choose them
Even if you do not like them
You can take me or you can leave me
I am done being your puppet
This is my life
The strings are just shadows now
Your control teeters precariously
The day I snap
Will not be one forgotten
Not by anyone who knows me
I am fearful of very few things
However one of the things I hide from the most
Is my anger
It is a force to be reckoned with
It is coming for you
I am unsure if I can stop it
For years I held my tongue
FOR YOU
But did it matter?
No
Because you still shoved shards
Into my mind
Fractured me until I was so lost
I could not even trust myself
In my days presently I am still seeking
Others validation
When I do not need it
You did not make me
You deserve no credit for
The person I have become
I am my own
I created myself
My strength came from me
My resilience
Kindness
Everything that makes me who I am
You can take no credit for
I must say my thanks though
You did care for me in some way
Not in the ways that matter to me
Tis no matter though
A strength resides within
When I falter, scrape my skin, I think of you
Resolution lights in my chest
I want to show you
No
I am going to MAKE YOU SEE
THAT YOU WERE WRONG
SO WRONG
I WAS NOT A MISTAKE
I WAS NOT SOMEONE TO PUSH AROUND
I AM NOT YOU
Live your own damn life
I am done living it for you
This is my soliloquy
Hear it for it will only be spoken once
I AM ME
I will be silent,
NO LONGER