Successfully Failed Again.
I worked tirelessly to achieve my aspirations.
Dreamed endlessly about my own ambitions.
Wore my body down to the tiny brittle bone
Tried to deliver my dreams and wishes home.
Worked harder than any person next to me.
Was always hampered by my own insecurity.
My fears drove me on but always terrified me.
Doubted I could ever do anything successfully.
They have always said I am an utter failure.
Tried very hard to find some kind of saviour
So, without trying, it all just came so naturally.
My own expectations weighed down on me.
I drove thru the barriers that are built so high.
Then was freezing with fear on the other side.
I craved to have that feeling that I do belong.
At the same time, I just wanted to be left alone.
Always driven by the sad shadows of my past.
I became a professional at making failure last.
Hand on heart I gave everything I had to give.
Everything put on the table for a chance to live.
I ended up being very successful right to the end.
In my life I did successfully failed time and again
Tobani (2024)