I wasn’t the son they dreamed I’d be—
Not the proud smile, not the victory.
I saw their eyes, full of hope,
And I looked away, unable to cope.
I wasn\'t brave, I wasn’t kind,
Just too lost inside my mind.
As a friend, I showed up late—
Not for parties, but for fate.
When they cried, I stayed away,
Too wrapped in silence to ever stay.
They needed warmth, I gave them cold,
Tales of trust I never told.
A brother? God... I tried,
But I faded when they cried.
They grew, they laughed, they ran ahead,
While I just lay in my own head.
I watched their joy from far behind,
A stranger with the same bloodline.
And to the earth that bore my name,
I gave nothing back but blame.
The stars, the trees, the open skies—
They watched my hollow alibis.
Not a whisper of love I gave,
Just echoes bouncing off the grave.
I am not cruel, but I’ve been careless.
Not heartless, just endlessly helpless.
Not evil, but empty, drifting through,
Hurting people I never meant to.
So here I stand — not proud, just real,
A wound that time may never heal.
But in these words, I let it bleed,
Maybe that’s all I’ll ever need.
Not for pity. Not for peace.
Just for the weight to slightly cease.
Just for someone to know my name—
Not for praise, just for the shame.