The end we start from isn’t always as expected as we think or at the times we think it will happen. One moment it seems great, our house is standing and we are enjoying it even though we know the foundation is shaky. The next moment, we remember why we always reminded ourselves of that shaky foundation. It all begins to crumble. It all begins to break. It all begins to fall. In these moments it\'s so easy to only see the wreckage rather than everything that has been. It’s so easy to be overwhelmed by having to start again. We always forget how many times we’ve had to start over. Even when it’s something as simple as a song because we didn’t sing it how we wanted to or we missed our favorite part. We have a tendency to start over. We can look back and see how far we’ve come, but with that, we need to learn how to appreciate the end we start from.
From their leaving or from yours, you get to have all of these new experiences. From figuring out how to even have dreams, to falling in love forever even if that forever was in a moment, to learning from that ending how to live and what it was like to be loved deeply. We get to experience new heart break, new happiness, new anger, new ways of thinking, and new perspectives. We are constantly in a cycle of endings. Constantly in a cycle of things not working out or not being meant for us or just not being the right time. With each ending though, comes a new beginning. Never did I think I could be happy to have my heart broken, or be happy to have “the one that got away” as something relatable, or even to fully understand the question “Is it better to have loved and lost, or to never have loved at all?” When I had the chance to love her, I had found safety, understanding, communication, love, and peace. Even with her leaving, I know those things exist. With her leaving I know now that it will always be better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.
This is all inspired by her, in one way or another. She is the greatest seamstress to have ever lived for she stitched her love into every fiber of my being. She fixed what she didn’t break like it was as easy as breathing to her. She took pieces of me without leaving me feeling empty, but instead, she left me feeling more whole. She was the moon to my stars, my poetic debate, my words, my way of breathing. She is and always will be, my forever in a moment.