Come one
Come all
To this glorious event
It\'s gonna be a bloody good time
All the invitations I sent
So come gather round
You\'re the stars of the show
I\'m the one man band
You\'re the ones that I loathe
Watch me play the machete
Hacking off your limbs
Skipping through the rows
With an ear to ear grin
I hope you bought the rain gear
I was selling at the door
You\'ll all be getting wet
Hacking off some more
Juggling limbs through the air
Each hand I high five
As they\'re falling to the ground
They\'re all waving goodbye
Eyes widen in fright
With the pliers in my hands
Fingernails screaming
Cheers in the stands
Pluck one
Pluck two
Pluck three and you\'re out
Passing out from the pain
Smelling salts in my pouch
Intermission bell ringing
But don\'t you dare leave your seats
Up next is the best pianists
That there ever will be
Hammer and Chisel
Smashing out your teeth
Oh how they love to tickle
Those rooted ivory keys
Oohs and Ahhs
As the concierto rings out
Time for the trapeze
The buzzsaws swing about
Some heads start to roll
Some are cut in two
Think it\'s time for the finale
Are you smelling the fumes
Gasoline raining down
All over the crowd
I am walking out the door
Toss a match on the ground
Explosive ignition
Melting all your screams
I am standing in the heat
Of the fiery final scene