please.
please?
you don\'t know it yet,
but you\'re all I have.
all I\'ll ever have.
who else would me?
who else would put up with my crying
and whining and cutting.
please!
I\'m weak and frail,
I weaponize my incompetence -
there\'s so much of me
yet little to offer.
unless...
you like that I hate
the burden of life.
the little nuns in the churchyard,
the orphan I loved,
the girls I did not listen to.
he doesn\'t love you.
he doesn\'t love me,
nor should he -
for I am a waste.
a whore.
a liar.
a selfish bitch.
you would say it\'s not about me,
I\'m not special.
but I don\'t think I am,
so what\'s the point?
I do this because it makes me feel.
see, you\'ll get your wish
because you\'re a man
and you came from money,
but me?
no.
the only I\'ll be handed
are scraps of attention.
and I don\'t even want attention!
I want my life back,
and I want it with you,
or him,
or anyone!
I\'m desperate!
I\'m on my hands and knees,
crying at your feet,
clutching my rosary,
but even God hates me.
please.
love me,
hold me,
want me - no,
need me,
or meet me halfway
and smile.
I\'ve never been so helpless,
so irrevocably destructive...
no one has ever made me want to cry
so hard
that nothing comes out
quite the way you do.
look me in my eyes,
eyes I haven\'t decided the color of
(blue, grey, green with brown in the left),
and tell me what you think I mean
when I say yes.