I\'m happy.
I\'m happy when I see you,
but only when I don\'t.
I need to know the motive,
see past curtain eyes.
as soon as the door
to the party closes,
I cry myself
my very own Seine.
I\'m scared and I hate this,
I\'m raw and exposed.
I need the pill
that makes your screaming stop,
the brings the barrel to my jaw,
that brings the rope around my throat,
the knife across my skin,
the pressure against my plummeting body.
but I don\'t want it.
I don\'t want you to leave.
stay with me
while I\'m still me.