This being the tale of a man named Crier,
Who has the High Reputation of a Habitual Liar.
The things that he\'s claimed to have done in the past:
Would leave you quite Flummoxed; and a little aghast.
He\'s descended he swears from \'Good Queen Bess\':
But the Virginal Queen \'Repelled Boarders\' at best.
And to have Sailed around the World;
Twice up to date:
But was \'Blowing his lunch\' on the town\'s boating lake.
Once Dated an Actress from Hollywood he said:
But it\'s \'Am Dram\' Betty that\'s sharing his bed.
A Contender he Brags in the Pugilist game:
But was \'Felled\' by a Drunk,
So it adds to his shame.
And the London Marathon he moved in quick time:
But an Ambulance is fast when a life\'s on the line.
Another Fib, and occasional boast,
How he once fought a Shark on the Florida Coast.
But amusingly enough by all reports:
It was a Surfboard Fin;
And he Fouled his Shorts.
So this is Sebastian, Machiavellian to a fault;
Take whatever he says with a Shovel of Salt.
So; all things considered you\'ll find unsurprising;
He has a safe regular job -
In Advertising.