David Wakeling

Dawn tries to communicate with her Mother.

Dawn: Hey Mum how are you?

Mother: I’m fine what chaos have you got yourself into this time?
You know the old saying:
“Total chaos: Let loose the kittens of War!”

Dawn: That’s Dogs of War.

Mother: What is Dogs. No I hate Dogs. Kittens are much better.

Dawn: Well anyway, As you know I am alone, now, since Frank left,
You no Frank, my x-husband, the man I loved,
Who left with the receptionist who had legs.
I have legs don\'t I?

Mother: Well yes but you know the old saying:
“Every kitten has its day”

Dawn: That’s Dog mum Every dog has its day

Mother: No kittens are much nicer.

Dawn: Can I talk to you Mum?
This house that laughs at me daily,
is now my grave.
I am buried alive here forever.
I’m thinking about putting a gravestone instead of the letterbox.

Mother: Well you know the old saying:
“Yan can’t teach an old kitten new tricks.”

Dawn: What are you saying? Its Dog mum Old Dog new tricks.

Mother: No I like kittens better.

Dawn: I am sure I will never find anyone as bad
as he was.
Evil like that is like lightning,
Unable to strike twice in the same place.

Mother: Well you know the old saying:
A kitten is man’s best friend.

Dawn: Its Dog mum.Oh never mind
No, I shall become a mad dog lady,
Stroking dogs and telling them they are
naughty when they mess on the carpet.
An eternity of chastising dogs isn\'t so bad,is it?

Mother: Not at all.Lovely talking to you.Bye