I have to confess
this world, this life
can sometimes feel like a place
I no longer wish to hold
There are good people
all around me
but I still feel the judgement
I wish I could ignore
I reach inside
and pull the vulnerability
out of me
spike my poetry with it
and force-feed it down the throats
of my friends
in hopes of a little validation
I wish it were not so easy
to crave external validation
But I am here
in this world
in a home
my stomach soft and full
a womb I place palms upon
for the children it may one day cradle
my hand dancing with pen
until the thoughts have all been spent
I am here
hair fresh and scented like raspberry
a soft towel to pat it dry
bedroom a little messy
but warm
and almost entirely mine
There are good things around me
all of the time
I still find devastation
grasping at my feet
still feel my lungs struggle
to catch the breath
stolen by both laughter
and grief
There is a little girl in me
who knows nothing more
than her page
the microphone she wants to kiss onstage
and the rage
she’s spent her life
trying to escape
And I intend
to show her a way out
or at least
a way to put it down
I am here
I am alive
I am breathing
And how blessed I am
to be here
in a clean space
with friends to listen to my musings
to be soft-stomached
and rosy-cheeked
when others are not
I think
I have to confess
this world, this life
can sometimes feel like a place
I am supposed to hold
and in the midst
of all this pain
i intend to stay.
23:13pm – 30/05/25.