when i came here,
everything felt too big,
the streets, the silence,
the space between me and home.
i missed the noise,
my siblings laughing,
arguing over nothing,
leaving behind pieces of love in their chaos.
i missed my mother
her voice, her touch,
the way she knew when i was tired
even through a screen.
how her hugs made everything
feel smaller, safer.
and i missed him.
the one who used to hold my hand
like it was a promise.
his texts, his voice,
the way he always knew
how to make me laugh,
even on the worst days.
then the lights went out
for three whole days.
no signal, no calls
just me,
the dark,
and everything i felt.
i cried the first night,
and the second too.
no one knew.
it felt like the whole world forgot me.
but on the third day,
i heard myself
in the silence,
in the stillness.
not strong,
but trying.
and that was enough.
i’m still lonely sometimes,
still miss them all
every laugh, every touch,
every word i wish i could hear again.
but i’m learning to hold it,
to let it shape me
without breaking me.
that kind of love doesn’t go away,it stays,
even in the dark.
i’m starting to get used to it,
not in a numb way,
but in a way that says
‘i’m still here.’
and i’m becoming someone
they’d all be proud of
- Angelica Dsouza