The first time I “fell in love”,
I was 14 years old.
I had started talking to this boy,
A friend of a friend.
I knew he liked me
I just didn’t know if I liked him though.
Until I had a dream,
Where he kissed me,
So of course I thought he was my soulmate!
I was 14!
I was book smart,
Not world smart!
Anyways,
We told each other we liked each other.
My first boyfriend!
I was so happy!
I thought I was in love
That I’d marry this boy.
I’d never had a boyfriend before.
He was like a god for me,
If he told me to jump,
I’d ask, “How high?”
Sometimes I think he knew that,
And that can be dangerous.
He was 15,
Not that much older than me.
But he knew more than me.
I thought it was all fun and games,
I mean that was until he tried to grope me in front of his mates,
Obviously!
I didn’t want a spectacle.
I didn’t know what to do.
So I did nothing.
But because I let it go,
He got bolder.
It made me uncomfortable.
But I was supposed to like that,
Right?
I didn’t,
But I could never say that!
That wasn’t normal,
Right?
I mean he was sweet,
And he showed me off like a prized jewel.
But he also held me too tight,
Touched too low,
Whispered too loud.
I knew I didn’t love him
A little while before I broke up with him.
But I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
But each time we went out it was worse than the last.
No 14 year old girl should have had to make an emergency pregnancy plan,
Because she knew “No” meant nothing to her boyfriend.
I did things I’ll never do again,
Things I’m not proud of.
Finally it came to an end.
After telling my best friend a synopsis of what happened,
I decided to break up with him.
I learned that love is a slow burn,
That you don’t fall in love overnight.