Dad’s Jokes for Father’s Day.
I told my son he should not
Listen to losers.
Now he won’t listen to me.
Dentist: Your teeth are stained.
Do you smoke or drink coffee.
Me: I drink it.
My Uncle was crushed by a Piano.
His Funeral was very low key.
My Girlfriend says I’m way too
Condescending.
(That means I speak down to people).
I can’t believe someone broke into my
House and stole all of my fruit.
I am peachless.
There’s this new cryptocurrency
Called Decibel.
It’s a sound investment.
I have a friend who really hates living
In the centre of the USA.
She says she’s in a constant state of
Missouri.
Did you hear about the giant
With Diarrhoea?
It’s all over town.
My co-worker Celsius needed to take
Some time off, so they hired a guy called
Kelvin to cover for him.
He is the new temp.
What dating app do lumberjacks use?
Timber.
I have a fear of overly intricate
Buildings…
I suppose you could say I have
A complex complex complex.
What do the French call it when
Something sad happens on Thursday.
Un tra-jeudi.
I watched a documentary on how
Ships are kept together.
Riveting.
I said to the customer “So, You’d
Like a cheeseburger?
“Yes,” he said. “Well done”
“Thank you”, I said.
I just flew back from a
Transformers convention.
And boy, my arms are tyres.
Happy Father’s Day