I want to peel my skin away
not just the outer
but the parts that ache beneath.
Strip it down
like autumn bark
until I\'m nothing but
a trembling leaf.
Let me carve the shape they crave
reshape the bones
rethread the seams
swap the voice
the smile
the name
make myself a walking dream.
I\'d bleach my shadow if I could
burn the memories they wont hold
break myself to softer wood
and chisel out
a heart of gold.
But here\'s the curse
in every layer:
beneath my revolting skin
is still the same.
The blood still hums
the old despair
my soul still answers
to the shame.
So I stand raw, rebuilt, remade
and hold my breathe
but Love doesn\'t stand.
They turn away
they always do
like I was reaching out
with no hand.
I tried to be
what love would want
tried to bleed into the mold.
But I\'m still me
a silent haunt
a story
never told.
And in the mirror
cracked and grim
I face the truth
I always knew:
No matter what I do to her
They\'ll never love
what\'s underneath me too.