I keep fantasizing about a love that consumes me
A love that makes me lose my mind
A love that makes me crazy
A love that makes me reckless
A love that makes me mature
Enough to realize when it\'s real, when it\'s true
I keep dreaming of a man
A grown boy capable of good and bad
A man able to be an arc to a life, to a love
I keep longing for a life
A life I never had, with a man I have never seen
Absurd to miss something you\'ve never had, you\'ve never been
I keep fighting
Stuck between what I have lost and what I have seen
Between a past and a beginning
I keep hoping
For a place magical, for someone I hoped to be
I keep imagining
In my head, a country side wedding
2 or 3 kids instead
I keep longing
For a life that makes me excited
I keep missing a man that makes me lose my mind, with love just as blinded
I look for a future
Hoping to find it buried inside of me under a pile of the past that always seems to catch me
And here I am
Longing, missing, waiting for
What I never had and would never be