The Children Enjoyed It.
Percy and Joan broke their backs working extra shifts to save up some money, they wanted to take Paul and Jill on a Family Day out to the seaside where they had never been before.
The day finally came all loaded into the car excitedly looking forward to the 70-mile journey to the sea. After an hour Paul and Jill wanted a drink, Joan then realised she had forgot to pack the lunch boxes.
Percy pulled into the service station to buy 4 drinks, Percy was shocked when Dick Turpin behind the counter told him how much they cost, he reluctantly paid because he thought it was a special day and he wanted Paul and Jill to enjoy it.
As they got closer to their destination and the traffic started getting much busier and slower, Joan could hear Paul and Jill laughing giggling away in the back seat. Paul shouted daddy look at that man\'s bottom, what bottom, the bottom on your right.
Percy looked across and to his horror he was greeted with a line of bare arses pressed against the coach window. Don\'t pay any attention to them they\'re just being stupid he said as the children continued laughing away.
Joan told Percy to just forget it they\'re just the idiots, as the coach passed, covering the back window was a banner saying Johns stag do on tour.
They drove slowly through the town towards the beachfront looking for a parking space, Joan was pleased as there were lots of free spaces, but Percy thought this was strange.
They Parked up and Percy went to pay at the meter as Paul and Jill got really excited, Percy couldn\'t believe the cost of parking and he couldn\'t afford to pay that, he thought maybe I should have come by train.
He went back to the car and decided to drive a bit further out where hopefully the parking is cheaper and then they can stroll back in.
They found a place much cheaper parked and started strolling back to the beach. Percy lugging the bags and Joan saying I am sure it isn\'t too far, while Paul and Jill we\'re just having a whale of a time.
They loved the graffiti on all the walls which Percy and Joan found some to be very difficult to explain, they also really liked the scruffy man singing on the bench with his friends and with their cute dogs laying around.
Percy tried to get them to walk quicker but they wanted to stroke the dogs, as they walked away Jill asked mummy what does Fucking mean.
They arrived at the beach and the children ran speedily ahead, Percy and Joan started the hunt for a nice bit of sand, it soon became quite apparent there wasn\'t any sand.
Joan cleared a small area of the dog ends and bits of beer cans and rubbish while Percy flattened the ground and unpacked the bags, Paul and Jill were laughing at their dad trying to put the chairs together.
They all settled down and once Paul and Jill were plastered in sun lotion they ran to the water, while the parents soaked in the smell of chips and seaweed.
Paul and Jill thought the water was very dirty and cold so decided to build a castle out of the stones as there was no sand, as they dug for stones Jill gave out a cry.
Joan ran to Jill to see she had cut her hand, Percy could see she had done it on a buried portable BBQ, he was fuming but Paul was rolling around laughing again.
Joan put a plaster on Jill, and she was happy, she had a war wound to get sympathy for the rest of the day. They went back to building their castle while Percy and Joan tried to sunbathe.
Joan was very relaxed comfy and dozing off in the sun, Percy just couldn\'t settle because two flies wouldn\'t leave him alone and were driving him insane.
The children wanted a photo of their finished masterpiece, so Percy walked down to with his camera stepping in dog shit on the way, the air turned blue as Joan and the children burst out in hysterics.
Percy cleaned his feet and took the photo he was very impressed by the stone castle, then noticed his T-shirt was being used as a flag, he reclaimed the flag and said let\'s get some lunch.
Percy and Joan knew they had to have fish and chips when by the seaside and had saved for that, they joined the long queue as the children got excited, this was a first for them.
Percy noticed the prices and said to Joan, I think you get a whole fish with your chips look at those prices, Joan said don\'t be silly it\'s for a piece remember you\'re at the seaside, Percy went quiet and white with rage.
Percy ordered his four portions of fish and chips and four cans of drinks, being held to ransom for the children\'s happiness. Another Dick Turpin took his money, Percy felt he had been robbed but he never saw a gun.
They settled down to eat the fish which was really good and the children were loving their ketchup soldiers, when out of nowhere a seagull dived and took Percy’s piece of fish.
Joan nearly choked with laughter, Paul and Jill could see that their Dad was fuming so tried so hard to hide their laughter. Percy was spitting blood as Joan tried to calm him down between laughs.
They all gave Percy a piece of their fish it took him ages to calm down. Lunch ended now everyone just relaxed for a little while then Paul and Jill asked if they could have an ice cream.
Percy said I spent all our money on the dinner, Joan said I\'ll put it on the credit card that will end the day nicely for the children. Joan went to buy the ice creams, and it was her turn to feel like she\'s been robbed, she complained to Percy and he just said it will make the children happy Darling.
They all sat on the beach licking their cornets, another fly started hovering around Percy’s ice cream he swiped at it and his ice cream went flying through the air. Percy was now at the end of his tether holding his empty cornet while Joan and the children had another reason to explode into laughter.
A little later they packed up and started the walk back to the car, Paul and Jill were looking at the graffiti again and saying hello to the men still swearing and singing.
On arriving at the car Percy’s day was rounded off, his windscreen was covered in seagull shit and had baked hard on in the sun. It took Percy and Joan ages to scrape it off and for Joan to get Percy to calm down again, while Paul and Jill in between laughing pointed out the bits they had missed.
Once in the car Percy said never again as they headed home, Paul and Jill said thank you mummy and daddy we had a fantastic day. Percy replied at least someone did, Joan said the children had a great day and that\'s all that matters Darling.
Tobani June 2025