i have screamed
sobbed, sweat, sighed in sorrow
lost all hope of seeing tomorrow
wailed, whined and wept
lost my appetite, barely slept
felt like i had nothing left
dissolved into a choked-up mess
lamented, regretted
felt the grief almost embedded
ripped out hair from the roots
forgot all good attributes
tried so desperately to break the noose
before learning it was no use
used poetry as an excuse
to reduce or diffuse the self-abuse
stapled a lawsuit to the bottom of my boots
I have picked out my brain
watched it sit there, pulsing
convulsing
the sight was repulsing
wrote it all in a letter
to make me feel better
sent it to my past self
in hopes it would wreck her
prevent her
from becoming me
but here i am
i still don\'t know
who i am meant to be
some days, i still don\'t know how to breathe
i am writing
and listening to queen
life is just as confusing
as it has always been
but i\'m free
with mortal agency
it\'s a sunday night
and i feel bright
though my body is tired
i still have to fight
for what is mine
but for a moment, a second
i can pretend everything\'s alright
i believe everything will be alright
there is a breeze tonight
and it is clearing my mind
cleansing my brain
some days i panic just the same
but i find art in pain
when my pen meets page
i feel more sane
when my pen meets page
i feel more sane.
22:27pm - 06/07/25.