It’s not just a crush ,
It’s the falling in love with every action,
The way you stretch between thoughts,
The quiet sigh you let out, the smile and hum,
The way your eyes catch sunlight
Like they were made to warm the world
Or just me, for a second too long.
Every little thing pulls me closer.
I collect them like secrets
I’ll never be brave enough to tell.
Each moment with you replays too often,
Memories you don’t know you gave me.
Little by little,
My dreams begin to shape themselves around you
My heart starts to speak in your language,
The Soft tones, familiar pauses,
A rhythm that doesn’t belong to me,
But feels like home.
I sit in rooms you leave behind,
Breathing in traces of you.
I speak your name in my head
Like it might answer back.
I imagine us in still corners,
In laughter that doesn’t break me,
In futures you don’t even know I’ve written.
I stand on the edge of something
That might not be real,
I am Holding my breath
Hoping you might turn around and see me,
And still,
I’m waiting
Waiting for one cold bucket of water
To drown all my hopes,
To chase the moment that shatters the maybe.
Where I’ve built a home in your shadow.
Where I’ve mistaken kindness for closeness,
And timing for fate.
But until then,I will stay here
Not quite swimming,
Not quite sinking,
Just drifting,
In the thoughts of almost, of us.