had to move
box, after box, after box
i found some old folders
with words of angst
with thoughts
i had thought
long lost
i sat and i read them
they impact me still
they spoke of my struggle
to keep my own will
i rummaged some more
and found the last note
my mother had written
an angry old ghost
manically she accused
all of their crimes
i had fled her, you see
fled All of those times
\"I did not break down the door\"
\"I did not spray them with mace\"
\"I was a living example of rage and grace\"
\"I did not scare him away\"
\"he\'s a confused little boy\"
\"his siblings are not real\"
\"he will not be their toy\"
\"they curse and they drink\"
\"all the things I won\'t do\"
\"for I am in control\"
\"all I say is true\"
---
a broken door
a phone on the floor
a sting in my eyes
as i shake
and i cry
---
no one now knows
of all that was tossed
of the locks in my mind
of the horrible cost
just that damned note
long lost
in a box